Loneliness

I felt loneliness this week… A deep state of loneliness. This is not something I had experienced before, nor do I think I will experience again. Just prior to this event, I had spent 35 hours over five days in a space of resonance, care and warmth. The day after, I found myself helping someone else out of their own loneliness. On the in between days, I was in my flow integrating new knowledge from the above certificate program into my life and offering what I had learned to willing family and friends… Then, on the eve of the New Moon, I was gifted with a loneliness so suffocating and debilitating I was curious if I would vomit.

The sensation in my body was similar a giant pair of hands slowly pushing into my back and chest at the same time; the air being pushed out of me with no ability to take a filling breath. I felt trapped. Time slowed down. There was nowhere to get out — no doorway, or thing I could do or person to call… I felt loneliness in all of it’s essence.

What did I need in this moment? I needed human connection and eye contact. Familiar faces and laughter. I craved my tribe — my home people… The ones who work to play, not live to work. I wanted consistent, friendly and no-cost-at-the-door or pay-to-sit-down social interaction. Belonging and a place to be — wouldn’t that be wonderful. I yearned to jump in my car and go to community — I needed community right then. I wanted to know that others were seeking the same thing and are actively taking steps in their lives to ensure we can all get together…

I was experiencing loneliness. With an awareness, I knew I had the tools to come out of this. I knew about loneliness, more specifically, an alarmed state of aloneness (a term coined by Sarah Peyton / www.empathybrain.com — which I had just learned through the above program). I can’t fully recall the journey of the work that I did to come out of this (when something is released, it is released for good; events seem to leave our cells and are not available to be recalled) but I do know I returned to the notes of my coursework and my personal, timeless toolbox of self-care and coping. Through self-empathy, guided meditation, dance, sleep and other tools, I was brought back to Creativity and the acknowledgement of I am never alone. Soon, I was able to bring myself out of a stress and panic state and into calm and neutral. I was safe again. The world began to move again.

I was in and out of the whole experience in less than 24 hours. I know I have the tools to come out of loneliness. Not everybody does. Being able to experience what others are going through at a terrifying level was a gift for me. Hearing this experience shared by another, the very next day, gave relief and laughter. I received focus in my work and momentum built as plans were made for regular, community-building connection.

Coming out of that experience, I received a Creative burst (as I always do when I move past something intense) and a reminder of what I am capable of.

What do you need?

What is the story you wish to let out?

I am a lifelong receiver of stories, trained in listening and confidentiality through my volunteer position with Fraser Health and as a certified Early Childhood Educator of 18 years. I am a practicing Reiki Master and am currently fine-tuning my listening skills through the Practitioner of Resonant Healing with Sarah Peyton of Empathy Brain.

Reiki, Distant Reiki and Non-traditional Healing
Art and Creativity

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